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Staying in the Process: Why Healing Takes Time and How to Keep Going When It Hurts

Jill Hatchett


Healing from emotional trauma is not a straightforward path. It’s a journey that often takes unexpected turns, requires patience, and challenges you in ways you never imagined. It’s natural to wish for a quick fix, but true healing is a process that takes time. Along the way, there will be moments when it feels too hard, too painful, or like you’re not making progress. These are the moments when perseverance becomes essential—when staying in the process, even when it hurts, is what makes the difference between remaining stuck and moving forward toward wholeness.


Understanding the Process: Why Healing Takes Time

  1. Healing Is Not Linear: Healing is rarely a straight line from pain to peace. It often involves steps forward and backward, periods of feeling stuck, and moments of clarity followed by confusion. This non-linear nature is a natural part of the process. Understanding that ups and downs are normal can help you accept where you are without feeling defeated or discouraged.


  2. Uncovering Layers of Pain: Trauma often has deep roots, and healing involves uncovering these layers gradually. As you move through the process, you might discover new aspects of your pain that require attention. This can feel overwhelming, but it’s also a sign of growth. Each layer uncovered and addressed brings you closer to understanding yourself and your experiences.


  3. Building New Habits and Patterns: Healing often involves learning new ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving. This can take time, especially if you’ve been stuck in old patterns for a long time. Developing healthier habits—whether that’s learning to trust again, practicing self-compassion, or managing anxiety—requires patience and persistence.


  4. Allowing Your Mind and Body to Adjust: Trauma affects both the mind and body, and both need time to adjust to new ways of feeling and thinking. Emotional healing can trigger physical responses, like fatigue or tension, as your body processes stress and learns to relax. Allowing time for these adjustments is crucial for holistic healing.



How to Keep Going When It Hurts: Practical Tips for Perseverance


  1. Acknowledge Your Feelings Without Judgment: It's normal to feel frustrated, sad, or angry during the healing process. Instead of suppressing these emotions, acknowledge them without judgment. Accepting that it’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling is the first step to working through it. Remember, these emotions are valid and are part of your journey toward healing.


  2. Break It Down into Manageable Steps: When the road feels long and overwhelming, break it down into smaller, manageable steps. Focus on one day, one moment, or one breath at a time. Celebrate each small victory—whether it’s getting out of bed, reaching out for support, or simply practicing self-care. These small steps add up to significant progress over time.


  3. Build a Support System: You don’t have to navigate the healing journey alone. Reach out to trusted friends, family, or a therapist who understands your struggles. Support groups can also provide a sense of community and remind you that you’re not alone in your pain. Leaning on others when things get tough can make all the difference.


  4. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself, especially on the days when you feel like giving up. Healing is hard work, and it’s important to treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. Instead of criticizing yourself for not being “better” or “over it,” remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can in a challenging situation.


  5. Find Healthy Ways to Cope: Find healthy ways to cope with the pain, such as journaling, meditating, exercising, or engaging in creative activities. These practices can provide a release for your emotions and help you stay grounded. If certain coping mechanisms, like seeking professional help or practicing mindfulness, work well for you, make them a regular part of your routine.


  6. Focus on Your ‘Why’: Remember why you started this journey. Whether it’s to feel peace, reclaim your joy, or break free from the past, keeping your 'why' in mind can help you stay motivated when the going gets tough. Write it down and place it somewhere you can see it daily as a reminder of your purpose.


  7. Accept That Pain Is Part of Growth: Pain is often a necessary part of growth. As you work through your trauma, you’re likely to encounter uncomfortable emotions and experiences. Rather than resisting this pain, see it as evidence that you are growing, changing, and moving toward a more authentic version of yourself. Remember, it’s through facing and feeling pain that healing truly begins.


  8. Allow Yourself to Rest: Rest is an essential part of healing. It’s okay to take breaks, slow down, and give yourself time to breathe. Resting doesn’t mean you’re failing; it means you’re respecting your need to recharge and build the strength needed to keep going.


Final Thoughts: Perseverance Is a Sign of Strength

Healing takes time, and it's not easy. But every step you take, no matter how small, is a step toward freedom and peace. Trust that the process, even when painful, is leading you toward a better place. You are building resilience, learning to trust yourself again, and embracing the possibility of joy and wholeness.


When it feels like too much, remind yourself: you’ve survived 100% of your worst days. You are stronger than you think, and by staying in the process, even when it hurts, you are giving yourself the greatest gift of all—the chance to heal, grow, and thrive.

Keep going. You’re worth it.

 
 
 

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